Jim was in a bad mood, and anyone who got in is way was going to regret it. Jim walked into his favorite restaurant and plopped himself down on a chair. “Get me a steak well done with mashed potatoes. ” Three minutes later when his order came, Jim screamed “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME SAY WELL DONE?!” “Why thank you sir” the waitress smiled, ”that was the first compliment I got all day!”
People can use compliments, they don’t take much to give. I am going to give one away today.
After watching the near pandemonium and long lines appearing for the lottery it hit me. People seemed in great spirits to wait in long lines for a lottery ticket. OK, here we go. Make the only place you can buy a lottery ticket the DMV. BAM, problem solved. Happy people waiting for their winning lottery ticket and vehicle registration at the same time!
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shiat up to their necks. The guy says “No, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with shiat up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shiat up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”