An 85 yr old man speaking with his doctor after an examination. Dr says “You’re the most virile man I’ve ever examined.” “My father has me beat,” he replies. “Your father?” “Yes, he’s 105 yrs old and just married a 21 yr old girl.” Doc asks, “Why would a 105 yr old man want to marry a 21 yr old girl?” …Old man replies, “What makes you think he ‘wanted’ to?!”
An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. He goes to his doctor for a check-up a couple of weeks before the wedding date. The doctor looks him over and says,
“You seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing.”
“What’s that?”, the old man asks.
“At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care as it could be really deadly” the doctor replies.
The 80-year-old millionaire thinks for a minute and then says, “What the hell, if she dies, she dies.”
The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification reinforcers.” Alarmed that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the physician’s office to inquire, “What on earth are behavior modification reinforcers?” “Lollipops,” was the reply.
Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
“I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.”
“Why in the world would you do that?” the other asked.
She responded, “It’s the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.”
The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now about “indirect” taxes. Can anybody tell me what an indirect tax is?”
“A dog license,” said Smart Josh.
“And why is that?” asked the expert.
“The dog doesn’t pay it,” replied Josh.
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! “The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” [dramatic pause]
“Hi, George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
I was thinking to myself I need to lighten up, be more ready to laugh at the foibles of life and at myself. You know, have a sense of humor.
Looking around the ding-dang internets I was able to find this useful site for a sense of humor and thought I would share:
Laughter is the Best Medicine: The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter